The Yearner - Zeel

I'm so happy to share with everyone a short content that my bestie wrote!! 

Everyone loves a yearner until they're the one yearning...

As a professional yearner this quote stuck with me, lately I have been noticing that "yearning" has become a new "trend". People assume yearning is waiting for someone you love , longing for a mere look of that person. 

But real yearners know how torturous it is to yearn. You yearn for something you almost had, or worse case you could never have. You will yearn for them as long as they exist. You hope, you wait and that kind of hope slowly destroys you from inside. You constantly live with the ache, the pain, the what ifs, and it's eating you from the inside. 

You yearn for the one to lick your wounds who were the very ones causing it, hoping they would cure you, that is almost like asking the snake who bites you, to draw back its own poison. 

Like a moth to a flame, you keep on yearning for that one thing, the person who you know holds the upper hand over you. You would gladly burn just to have mere minutes of their warm embrace. It burns but you still crave it, such is the pain, it's cursed yet sacred at the same time. 

It's grief disguised as hope, the hope that keeps you alive but would kill you over and over again. You grieve for someone who is still alive, and that? That's death by a thousand cuts. 

Yearning is torture, it stays with you as long as there are reminders of them. Your heart cannot fully comprehend the fact that they're gone, so you still hope. It's not always constant but those feelings linger, they haunt you in the middle of night, like the stars that feel so close yet so far from reach. But you still won't give up because even though you know it's going to hurt, you would rather hold on that hold nothing at all. 

It's a burden, a burden that breaks you but yet feels like comfort. It's a flavour , so bitter yet so sweet, the one you can't let go because you're all too familiar with the way it tastes. 

But let me remind you something, it's okay to get tired of waiting for someone or something you almost had a hold of. 

You do not always have to carry the weight on your shoulder. You deserve someone that gives you the life where you do not have to beg for your own happiness. You do not have to self sacrifice for someone who is not even going to meet you halfway. And I hope you remember that your self worth isn't tied to them, it's okay to stop. You do not need them to heal your wounds when you have got yourself.

- Zeel Patel